Artemis Fowl and the Bird Kids Experiment
by Dozen-Glass-Roses
Summary: The flock is in Ireland, and disaster isn't far behind. featuring my OC Alley Jones!  R
1. Top O' the Morning!

**[Yo all! I don't own MR, AF or Ireland, (boo-hoo!) Alley is my oc. I'm writing Artemis's p.o.v in the third person, because that's how it is in the books... oh yeah, and this takes place after MAX because Fang is my buddy and I loves his soul! ****R&R please!]**

Max's P.O.V

"Come on Max!" Nudge cried as she tugged off her jacket. "Lets swim!"

I scanned our surroundings. There was nothing but peaceful Irish countryside as far as I could see in every direction. Gently slopping grassy fields, a wide, blue, deep-looking river and a single old stone wall.

"Just for a little okay? We have to meet the guys at two." I said.

"So we have at least an hour," Angel was already waist deep in the water. "Since it's only eleven thirty."

"And we don't want anyone to see us?" Alley asked. She looked up at me, a half-smile on her little face.

"Right, so just a little." I said and ruffled her hair. Alley is five, a bird-kid like us and the newest member of the flock. It's a long story.

Why are we in Ireland? Well, I'm not sure why, actually. Fang wanted to come here for some reason, and we didn't have anything better to do, so top o' the morning! We're in Ireland.

Alley ran and jumped out into the water. She squealed. "It's cold!"

"Do you want to play Marco-polo, Alley?" Angel asked.

I'd been kind of worried that Angel would hate Alley, because Angel had been the youngest for a long time. But she seemed to like having someone closer to her age around.

"Sure, how do you play?" Alley asked.

"I close my eyes and count to five, then I say 'Marco' and every time I do you say 'polo' then I try to find you without looking." Angel explained.

"Okay, sounds weird, Max, Nudge, do you want to play?"

"I think I'll pass." I said.

"I'll play," Nudge said. "I'll be it first." She started the game.

I watched them for a while, but the sun was so nice and warm, and the grass I was sitting in was so soft. Before I knew it, I was asleep. That _never ever, ever_ happens, I think it might have been the time change or the air or maybe it was Irish magic, who knows?

"MAX!" Nudge screamed. "HELP!"

I opened my eyes and jumped to my feet. Two and a half dozen guys in black were surrounding Alley, Angel and Nudge on the other side of the river. They all had guns.

One turned to face me. "Don't move," He said. "Or we'll shoot your little friends."

I froze.

Two of the men grabbed Alley and Nudge. They fought like tigers, but more of the men were helping now.

This was my chance. I flew across the river and sunk my fists into one of the men. He threw me off faster than I thought he would, way faster.

Then they shot Alley. I heard the gun go off. Alley didn't make a sound.

"No!" Nudge shrieked. "Alley! Are you okay?"

"Yeah- I'm fine." Alley gasped.

_Gosh, that kid was tough. _

I was on another guy now, wailing on him. He tossed me in the river like I was a kitten.

"You two stay here!" one of the men said, and Angel splashed into the water next to me, and then something else landed between us.

"Max! Move!" Angel cried. "They threw a-"

_BOOM! _The river exploded.

I was forced underwater. For a half-second, I freaked out because I thought I was going to drown.

_Oh, yeah, I can breathe underwater. _I tried to get back above water anyway; I needed to help Nudge and Alley.

Finally my head broke the surface. They were gone.

Everything was gone. The men, their guns, and Alley and Nudge were just gone.

* * *

Artemis's P.O.V

Artemis Fowl was relaxing. He was seated in a large armchair in the Fowl Family library. A book about recombinant DNA life forms was the object of his interest at the moment.

He was unsure about the idea of recombinant DNA, and was doing farther research on the subject.

He was so engrossed in his reading that he did not notice that Butler had entered the room until the manservant spoke.

"Artemis, your mother wants a word with you."

Artemis started. "Oh, what was that Butler?" Artemis marked his place in the book and set it down.

"Your mother wants to speak to you." Butler repeated the message.

"Very well, where is she?" Artemis stood.

"In the lounge." Butler said.

"Thank you, old friend." Artemis headed to the lounge.

"Arty," Angeline said as Artemis entered. "Do you know what today is?"

Artemis thought about it. "Wednesday, the tenth of July, Mother."

Angeline laughed. "Yes, and it's also the day that we are going to go for a hike."

"A hike, Mother?" Artemis raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, a hike, the fresh air would do us all some good. Would you mind helping Miles and Beckett get ready?" Angeline smiled.

"Yes, mother." Artemis didn't bother arguing with his mother, she had that look in her eyes, a look that plainly said that her mind was made up and could not be changed.

He, Artemis Fowl, was going on a hike.


	2. In the trunk

**[i'm back! yay! i got my first review! 15drangondream, thank you very much! If you want to read Alley's story it's posted as 'a little pair of silver wings'. Enjoy! oh, and don't forget to review!]**

Max's P.O.V

"Angel? Are you okay?" I called.

"Yeah, where'd they go?" Angel was dripping on the edge of the river. I hadn't seen her so scared since… a long, long time ago, like six months.

"I don't know, come on, we have to find the guys." I climbed out of the water, jumped a little and spread my wings.

Angel took off after me. "They said that they were- wait, Fang has one of the cell phones."

We'd just gotten two cell phones, old ones, but they worked just fine.

"Yeah, and Nudge has the other." I said.

"No," Angel dropped into a dive, and came back up with Nudges jacket. "We do." She pulled the phone out of one of the pockets and tossed it to me.

I flipped it open a punched in Fang's number. "Angel, look for a car."

"Got it," she took off eastward.

Ring, ring, ring.

Fang, pick up the freaking phone or I swear I will-

"Max?" Iggy answered.

"Ig," I started and suddenly didn't know how to put what had happened into words. "Something's wrong. Meet us now." I said finally.

"What's wrong?" Iggy asked.

"Nudge and Alley are missing, just meet us, okay?"

"What happened?" it was Fang speaking now.

"I don't even know. Just come."

"Okay." Fang said and hung up.

"ANGEL?" I shouted.

"I'm here," She said, flying up next to me. "Max, it's gonna be okay, okay? We're gonna find them."

I nodded numbly, remembering all the times I'd told Angel that it was going to be okay.

"I swear, we'll find them."

* * *

Alley's P.O.V

Alley felt like crying. She felt like sobbing and covering her face and going to sleep and never waking up.

Her arm hurt. Well, hurt didn't really cover the way she felt, but it was close enough. The man had jammed his gun into her left arm, up near her shoulder, and fired. It was bleeding and throbbing and couldn't move and Alley wished it would just fall off or something.

But there was one draw to being shot. They hadn't tied Alley up, just shoved a sack over her head. Maybe they'd thought she'd be in too much pain to move. They'd thought wrong.

She was pretty sure that she was in the trunk of a car, because of all the jolting around and that she kept hitting the walls.

Alley had a plan.

"Nudge?" Alley whispered loudly.

"Yes?" Nudge said.

"Are you tied?"

"Yes." Nudge sniffled.

"It's okay. I'm not. I'm gonna try to untie you, don't move." Alley clumsily tugged the sack off her head.

Nudge's hands were bound with a plastic zip tie. Alley cursed under her breath.

She searched around the small, closed space, the little emergency light that they (the people who made cars) put in the trunks of newer cars helped a lot.

She found a beat up navy backpack with a big skull in rhinestones on the front. She wasted a lot of time fumbling with the zipper one handed. Finally she got it open and dumped its contents on the floor.

There, on top of everything, was a box cutter. A yellow one. Alley's eyes filled with tears all over again.

Her older brother, Conner, had carried a knife like that. He'd used it to keep Alley safe. Conner was dead. Alley had seen him go, shot in the head. He'd died because of Alley.

"I got a knife Nudge," Alley said, swallowing her tears. "I'm gonna cut you loose, _do not move_."

"Okay." Nudge said.

If unzipping the backpack had taken a lifetime with only one hand, cutting Nudge loose took two eons.

Nudges hands were bleeding when Alley was done, but Nudge smiled. "Good job, Alley, thank you. All right, let's get out of here."

Alley slipped the box cutter into her pocket, on the off chance she'd need it later.

"Here," She said, turning to the part that opened. "There's a wire in here, if we pull it out, the brake lights will go out, then there should be a lever, it'll open the trunk."

"Okay, I'll do it, you stay still, don't move your arm." Nudge stuck her hand under the wall panel. "How do you know all this anyway?"

"Conner taught me, when Scott found us once, I was four." Alley said simply. She was getting good at acting like she didn't care.

"You remembered all that?" Nudge yanked something.

"Yeah, I remember everything." Alley said. "You find the lever yet?" she didn't want to talk about her brother, or remembering everything.

"Yes, I think this is it." Nudge pulled her arm out as the top of the trunk popped open.

"Now we have to jump." Alley murmured.


	3. Nudge's neckel castle

**[Merry Christmas! please don't hate me, because I suck at writing Artemis's P.O.V... I tried. *shrugs* Please review, and enjoy.]**

Artemis's P.O.V

Artemis had long ago decided that he was not made to hike, especially not in blue jeans and a T-shirt.

"Arty, you should change, we're going hiking, not to dinner." Angeline had said.

"Mother, I'm quite comfortable in my suit, thank you." Artemis had answered her.

"Have you worn the things I got you for your birthday at all?" Angeline had nearly pouted.

"Yes, twice in fact." Artemis said stiffly.

"Well, now will be the third time, go put them on."

"But mother-" Artemis had started to protest.

"No buts Arty, and call me mum?" Angeline had pleaded.

"Yes Moth- Mum." Artemis had abandoned his attempts at getting out of dressing like a street urchin. At least, he thought, no one would see him on the hiking trail.

Now he was sweating up a hill behind Angeline, Butler, Beckett and Myles, the latter of whom was collecting samples of moss.

_This must be how it feels to be normal. _Artemis thought, a little shocked by the revelation, _a family hike, excepting Father, of course, but if he could be here, no doubt he would be, but he does have to do business __sometime__. _

It had been almost a year since his last fairy adventure, and he was finally cured of the Atlantis Complex. Since then, his life had settled into normalcy.

Well, normalcy with visits from Captain Holly Short of the LEP. In fact Holly was planning on calling at Fowl Manor later that evening, not that Artemis had any idea that she was coming.

But it seemed that his fantastical People-related escapades were, on the whole, over.

Ahead of Artemis on the trail, Angeline stopped short and gasped. "Oh my!" she cried. "Are you all right?"

* * *

Nudge's P.O.V

"Now we have to jump." Alley said.

Nudge looked out at the gravel road that was streaking along under them, then at the woods on the side of the road.

"Why don't we just fly out?" she asked.

"They clipped my wing with the bullet." Alley said sadly. "You can fly if you want to, I'm going to jump."

She shook her head. "We can do this," she told Alley. Nudge took Alley's good hand.

"We have to," Alley said. "Just keep your head down, try to land on your shoulder, and roll, or we'll have some major road rash."

"Head down, land on shoulder, roll, gotcha." Nudge said, too nervous to speak in complete sentences.

"I'll count to three, them we jump, and let go of each others hands, or we might snap our arms." Alley said, sounding braver than Nudge felt.

Nudge nodded.

"One," Alley started.

Nudge gathered her legs under her, ready to spring.

"Two,"

Nudge took a long breath and let Alley's hand go.

"Three!" Alley shouted and they jumped.

Nudge hit the ground and rolled. The dirt was softer than it looked.

She sat up and looked around for Alley. She was lying a few yards in front of her, flat on her back with her bad arm twisted under her.

"Alley! Oh god, Alley!" Nudge got up and ran over to her.

Her eyes were half closed and there was a little trickle of blood coming out of the corner of her mouth.

Nudge knelt at her side.

She wanted to move Alley, get her hurt arm out, but she wasn't sure if that might hurt her more. "Alley, can you hear me?" Nudge asked.

She didn't move. Her face was pale.

"Alley!" Nudge screamed, half-crying.

"Oh my!" someone shouted behind them. "Are you all right?"

_This day couldn't possibly get any worse, huh?_ Nudge thought. _Now I know how Max feels.

* * *

_

Artemis's P.O.V

Artemis ran to see why Angeline sounded so distressed.

Then he saw and stopped dead, just as his mother had.

There was a dark skinned girl, not three meters away; she looked like she was in her young teens. She was kneeling next to the bloody figure of a small child.

"We're fine!" said the girl, her voice shook with faux cheer. "She just scraped her knee."

"That's a lot of blood for a scraped knee." Butler said.

"You know, it's that thing, where you fall and then there's a guy, and he's got a gun and he goes 'I think I'ma shoot someone, cause I'ma gangster.' and then you're all like 'holy crap, how'd I get all this blood all over me?' and then you have to jump out of a moving car and you land on your head, maybe, and you're really just fine, but you look like crap and people freak out? Yeah, it's like that."

"Pardon?" Artemis asked.

"It's like, when you get shot and you bleed all over the place, but you're fine." The girl said.

"Do you need us to call an ambulance?" Angeline asked.

"NO!" the girl's eyes widened.

"Are you in trouble?" Butler asked.

"No," the girl said. "Yeah, I think we are, but I don't really think you can help. We'll be fine away." She turned back the child.

"Alley?" Artemis heard her whisper. "Oh please don't die, Alley, can you hear me? Are you okay? What hurts?"

The child, Alley, moaned. "Yeah, just my head, and my arm, and… everything else, but I'm really fine Nudge."

"Where are your parents?" Angeline asked.

"We're fine." The older girl said. "We got lost. We'll find them later-"

"Nudge-" Alley started.

"Hold up Alley. We were on a walk, I'll call them later." She told Angeline. "Yes, Alley?"

"Nudge, I feel floaty, all over the world right now, like a fish. I think we need their help, at least ask them if they know where we are." Alley croaked.

"What happened to you?" Butler asked.

"Uh, lots of crap. Listen, where are we?"

Angeline told her.

"Wow, not that far from… hmm, Alley, you think you can move?"

"Sure." the little girl staggered to her feet, and Artemis saw just how soaked her clothes were in blood. She looked like a refugee, not only because of the blood, she was thin and her face was anguished.

"Careful, easy, here." The older girl, Nudge, held Alley up.

"Thanks," Nudge smiled weakly at Angeline. "Peace out homies,"

"Nudge, don't fly, I'm too heavy." Alley whimpered.

Fly? Were they fairies? No, they were too tall; they were proportioned like children. Artemis's mind began to race. What were they then? Did the little girl mean fly, as in run? But no, Nudge looked as if she was about to leap off the ground.

"I have to Alley, we have to find Max." Nudge said. "Hold on tight."

"Wait!" said Artemis. "Come to our home, please, we can help you."

Nudge laughed loudly. "If I had a nickel…" she shook her head. "I'd have a lot of nickels, buckets of them, I could make a castle, well not one that people could go into, but still… never mind. G2G!"

"Alley please, we'll crash. Max won't like it if we're both dead. Leave me here, I'll wait, you bring them back."

"No, not ever, no, no, no." said Nudge.

"Nudge, this is a bad idea, do not do it, or _I will kill you_, as soon I can move both my arms, if we don't die." Alley hissed.

"What else am I going to do, get a cab?" Nudge looked on the verge of tears.

"We will help you," Artemis said.

"Whatever it is you need, we'll get for you." Angeline added.

"Please Nudge, I think I'm gonna puke and pass out, at the same time." Alley whispered.

Nudge looked carefully at Artemis, Angeline, Butler and even Myles and Beckett in turn and said, "Fine. Lets go."


	4. Caballine's baby shower

**[it's been a while! I'm back though, and better than before. (i hope!) enjoy and review! flames and hating is welcome! I want to hear what you think, really! happy reading, happy new year!]**

Max's pov

"So what are we going to do? Call the cops?" Iggy asked when I finished telling everyone what happened.

"We're going to look for them." Fang said quietly.

"Well, thanks for clearing that up," Iggy said. "Where are we going to look for them? They could be anywhere."

"Nudge is smart," Angel interjected. "She'll get out, and find us."

"How do you know?" I snapped. "They're probably in cages somewhere."

"Alley is good at escaping, we should look for them anyway. Or at least do some research do they have an internet cafe around here?" Angel asked Fang.

"Uh, yeah." Gazzy answered. "We watched some videos there before..."

Iggy jabbed his elbow into Gazzy's side. "Shut up." he hissed.

"Videos?" I asked, glancing at Angel who had a disgusted look on her face. "I don't want to know, not now, anyway."

"So what are we going to do about Alley and Nudge?" Iggy asked.

"Look for them I guess." I said.

"Where?" Iggy asked.

"Everywhere!" I nearly shouted at Iggy. "First lets see if Itex has any branches around here, that'll be our start."

"Okay." Fang said. "Lets go."

* * *

Holly's Pov

Captain Holly Short, famed for her work in LEPrecon during various operations, was at a baby shower.

Caballine was expecting her third, a daughter.

"It's your turn Holly," Caballine handed her a box.

Holly put her hand into the small opening at the top. She pulled her hand out of the box before she had even touched its contents.

"It's isn't alive, is it?" she asked, eyeing the box in her hands.

"No," Caballine shook her head.

One of the other guests, a shimmeringly white centaur giggled.

Tentatively, Holly shook the box. Something rattled inside.

She put her hand back over the opening again.

Before she could slip one of her thin fingers into the box, Foaly trotted into the room, saving her from having to touch the mystery item.

"Hello, sweetheart," he said, planting a kiss on Caballine's cheek, "Pardon me, but I have to steal Holly for a while, she's needed at police plaza, there's an emergency."

"Oh," said Holly handing the box to the white giggler, "I'm so sorry, Caballine, I really must go, this might be important." She stood and followed Foaly.

"Thanks Foaly, I love Caballine, but I thought I was going to lose my mind in there. Is there really an emergency?"

"sadly, yes." The centaur said.

"what is it?"

"Opal Koboi has escaped."

"Well, she can't go far, we still have a tracer in her don't we?"

"Wait, it gets worse," Foaly's brow furrowed. "She was aided in her escape," he paused for a beat. "By a mud man,"

"Is Spiro out now?" Holly asked.

"No, this mud man's name is Jeb Batchelder."

* * *

Alley's pov

Alley woke up feeling really, really, weird. Nothing hurt, and she felt warm and clean.

She bolted upright. The room spun.

It was a big room with lacy curtains and a big four poster bead with equally lacy covers.

"Am I dead?" she said softly. "Wait no." she remember convincing Nudge to let those people from the woods help them, then the really big guy had carried her to a car, and then they took her inside, and the big guy got her a drink.

Then she'd fallen asleep. Now she was here, feeling all fuzzy and warm. Not good. Not good at all.

She kicked the blankets off of her legs and started a quick systems check.

Legs and feet: good. Eyes and ears: good. My mouth is working, good. Right arm, a-okay. Left arm… she tried to lift her hurt arm. It wouldn't move, but it didn't hurt at all.

It was wrapped in clean white gaze, Alley guessed it was stitched up too. She was wearing a loose nightgown and her hair was damp. Someone had given her a bath while she was asleep.

_EW! And now they know about the wings. Ooo-kay! _She thought, _now where am I? Where is Nudge?_

She pushed open the big fancy door. The hallway was even Fancier, with paintings on the walls. They were boring paintings, of stuffy-looking people sitting on stiff chairs. Not like the paintings Alley's mom had done when she was alive.

A lump grew in Alley's throat. She swallowed it, hard. Her mom had painted fairies and winged horses and angels in battle. She'd done pictures of the sky at night and mermaids with swords. She'd used huge canvasses and whole buckets of paint.

Sometimes she would just paint a tiny hand or an eye with a tear in its corner. _"I paint because I see, I see because I paint. Everything is art, art is love, and love is everything." _She would say.

_Stop remembering! _Alley ordered herself. _This is not the time! You have to find Nudge! You have to find Max! _

she was at the head of a huge staircase now. _this is it._


	5. Triple Crap

**[more! there's more. don't have much else to say beside "if you still don't know who the heck Alley is or why she matters to Max, check my page, her story is 'A little pair of Silver Wings'!" that is all, have a nice day. oh, and please review!] **

Nudge's POV

"Would you like some tea, dear?" the Irish lady asked kindly. "Or something to eat?"

"No thank you," Nudge said. Her stomach disagreed with a loud growl. "I just ate." She added lamely.

"I'm Angeline Fowl by the way." Angeline Fowl said, Nudge saw through the friendliness; saw that Angeline was trying to get Nudge to tell her name.

"That's a nice name, I guess, it's… nice." Nudge fidgeted and quickly prayed that Alley was okay. "Can I use your phone? I have to call… my mom."

"Of course," Angeline swept across the room and came back with the phone. _This kitchen is huge. _Nudge thought. _Iggy would like die in here, everything is shiny and new, and huge, and shiny. _She dialed Max's phone number.

Max's answering machine picked up. _"Hey, Max's inbox, not here now, leave a message and I'll get back to you if I want to talk to you." BEEP! _

"Max, it's Nudge. We're okay, well, sorta, if jumping out of a moving car is okay. Now we're with some Irish people, and I screwed everything up, and they'll probably find out, but Alley was really hurt and bleeding all over the place and she didn't want to _you know_, cause she said I'd drop her, and she couldn't _you know_, cause her one of her _you knows _got hurt by that guy, so I didn't have a choice. But I won't tell them anything, and as soon as I can move Alley we'll leave if you haven't come yet, but please come soon, love you, bye."

Next she tried Fang's phone. She got his auto pick up too. "Yo, Fang's phone, leave a message."

"Fang, it's Nudge, call me." Nudge wasn't going explain again, not when Angeline could hear her.

"Thanks," She said, giving Angeline the phone.

"Are you in trouble?" Angeline asked as she went to put the phone away.

"No." Nudge knew if she said anything else on the matter she'd end up spilling everything. She couldn't do that to Max, or Alley. "Where'd you get those earrings? They're really pretty, are they real peals? I wish I had my ears pierced, but I've never had time, does it hurt? How long have you had them pieced? Do you, like, have a pair for every outfit? Those match what you're wearing now, and your shoes. Those are nice shoes, are they new? I like how the logo is all distorted and hard to read. I had a pair of high-tops a few months ago, but they got ruined when my older brother pushed me into the ocean. He was just messing around but I wanted to kill him. Now I have these, they're not that bad, but I want to get some Uggs, cause those things are so cute, I'm gonna get pink ones, I think, or maybe brown, cause pink won't go with some colors and brown goes with _everything_, except black which is fine, cause I don't really wear black."

"Really?" Angeline said politely. "So what grade are you in?"

"Uh, like, seventh? Maybe sixth, I don't know, I go to an alternative school, we don't do grades. I'm in all different levels of everything." Nudge lied smoothly, Max would be so proud.

"So that makes you how old?" Angeline asked.

_What's the harm?_ Nudge thought. "Eleven." She said. _Is Alley okay? What are they doing to her? Have they found her wings yet? What happens when they do? Can I get her out of here? _

"What is your name again?" Angeline was still after that info, even though she'd heard Nudge say it like five times already.

Nudge sighed. "Nudge, just Nudge."

"That's an interesting name," Angeline noted.

"Yeah, it is." Nudge said. She was saved from having to say anything else about her interesting name by the boy and the big man, who came into the kitchen.

"Mother," the boy said with that hot Irish accent. "Would you come into the hall for a moment? I must have a word with you." He glanced at Nudge curiously.

_Oh, crap_. Nudge thought. _Triple crap_.


	6. Loose bird kids

**[you may want to go back and read the previous chapter because it's been so long. Sorry 'bout that. Had an insane roleplaying sleepover of doom over the weekend and got little sleep and also chocolate from Germany, which did not give me an accent, but I digress. so without farther (further?) ado, I give you chapter six!]**

Max's Pov

After coming up with zero results with our scouring of the world-wide-but-still-couldn't-tell-us-any-thing-we-didn't-already-know-web, we searched for hours, flying in huge circles until it started storming really hard.

"We can't fly like this!" Fang called to me over the wind. "We'll have to look some other way."

"Fine!" I shouted back. "Everyone, land down there!" I pointed to a hilly cow field. I got nods and okays from them, and angled down, dropping until my feet were inches from the ground then pulling up and landing running. Then I tripped and fell flat on my face.

Gazzy laughed, and Fang hurried to help me up. Angel and Iggy flew right over our heads.

"Max! Help me catch her!" she yelled over her shoulder.

"Catch who?" Gazzy asked as he touched down.

"The elf, she's getting away!" Angel was flying after something invisible. "You tripped over her."

"She's there Max, I can hear her." Iggy called. "Angel, get in front of her!"

"What are you the heck are you doing?" I asked, brushing mud off my wind breaker. "Elves aren't real!"

"Yes they are! There's one here, and she's getting away!" Angel dived and tackled the air just above the ground. "Help me max!"

_This was just what I needed, Angel and Iggy to go totally insane. Perfect.

* * *

_

Holly's Pov

"Avian-human," Holly mused to herself as she stepped from E7 out into the rainy night. "Who would do that to a child? Surely even Mud Men can't be that cruel."

"They can." Foaly said in Holly's ear. "And it wasn't just avian, it was lupine and feline and-"

"Foaly, please." Holly stopped him; there was no time to think about those horrors, not with the most dangerous pixie running loose with the most deranged mud man. Mud _men_, actually, there were two mad scientists. Jeb Batchelder and Scott Phillips.

"Does Artemis know them?" Holly asked as she powered up her shield.

"Not as far as we know," Holly heard Foaly tapping at his keyboard back at Police Plaza. "No, he shouldn't, though Artemis senior has had dealings with them." More tapping. "He sold them some, uh, subjects at one point."

Holly felt as though she would be sick. "He sold them other humans?"

"It appears so," Foaly sounded disgusted. "But it was over twenty years ago." He added quickly. "Anyway, the most successful experiments are avian-human, apparently, there are some loose right now."

"OOF!" Holly was knocked headlong into the mud by a loose avian-human.

**[very shot, i know, this next bit is proving hard to write, what with Artemis being all scientisty and stuff. Oh, and I almost forgot, I will not post any more until I get five reviews, from five different people. (please don't hate me for this, i just want some reviews, 'cause i feel like nobody really cares that much... but enough about me and my semi-emo state of mind.) So review and I will give you German chocolate (not really).]**


	7. After me Lucky Charms!

Alley's pov

This place was huge, just huge. Alley was standing in the middle of the hall, staring at the huge, fancy front door, and then the fancy, huge chandelier and then the huge, fancy rug under her bare feet. She'd run out of words to call this house, or maybe it was a palace, either way, the only things she could think about it were: huge and fancy, fancy and huge.

And the windows, they were big enough to live in. the ceiling was so high, Alley could have flown in this room easy.

"Hello," the boy's voice made Alley jump. Literally. She unfurled her wings and flapped hard, gaining about five feet before she felt the stab of pain from her left wing. Then came the graceless fall. Tears filled her eyes; that had hurt all lot more than she thought it would. It had jolted her stitched up bullet wound.

She swiped the tears out of her eyes with her good hand.

"Are you alright?" the woman from the woods asked.

"Yep, I do that for fun." Alley said sarcastically, getting to her feet. She forced her mouth to smile.

The woman didn't respond, neither did the boy, or the big man. Alley swallowed hard and faced them. The woman looked concerned, so did the big man. The boy looked whitecoat-y, like he wanted scans and blood tests.

Alley tossed her head like she really did do that for fun. "Where is my sister? Nudge?" she asked.

The whitecoat-y look on the boy's face fell away. "She's just in the kitchen, are you sure you're unhurt?"

"Yes. I'm peachy keen, never been better." Alley lied with a huge smile. Her arm hurt again, she was dizzy and her head felt like a sack of lead lumps. And her wing was throbbing. Not to mention the new bruises from the fall that would turn her skin black later. Yep, she was fine, alright!

"Would you like something to eat?" the boy asked, he was talking down to her, like she was a five-year-old! Wait, she was a five-year-old, but she wasn't stupid.

Alley took a big breath. "I am unable to ingest anything at the present time, for I have, regrettably, just consumed nourishment, and have no appetite, but I acknowledge the kindness shown in such an offer." Alley said pompously, only stumbling over the words 'nourishment' and 'acknowledge'. This was the upside to remembering everything. Plus, she knew better than to accept food from strangers.

The woman and big man laughed softly.

"I see," the boy frowned. "Perhaps something to drink?" he didn't have the baby-talk tone anymore; he knew who he was dealing with.

"No, but thank you," Alley frowned right back. Drinks were also a no-no.

"Alley-" the boy started. "Your name is Alley, am I correct?"

"Depends who's asking." Alley said coolly.

"I am Artemis Fowl the second, this is my mother, Angeline Fowl, and this is my old friend, and body guard, Butler." He nodded at the woman and then the big man.

"Uh-hu, I'm Alley." Alley gave up, he had already known her name, so giving a fake would make her look crazy, or at least like she was keeping secrets.

"Alley, would you mind telling me where you got your wings?" Artemis asked calmly.

"Half price at Macy's." Alley smirked. _Eat it. _She thought.

"Aha, I see," Artemis frowned again. "And how old are you?" he persisted.

Alley took her time counting on her fingers, mumbling, "ten plus twenty-five… minus six, carry the eight… plus nine… and then a little swirly thingy," she looked up at Artemis, "five years, ten months, one week and two days old." She grinned, even though her head was pounding and she was pretty sure she had skipped a week. "How old are _you_?"

"Sixteen," Artemis said briskly.

"'Kay, and where did you get your eyebrows?" Alley asked quickly.

"Are you sure you're not hungry, dear?" the woman, Angeline saved Artemis from the rapid fire drill Alley was about to start. That was how you dealt with whitecoats; ask more questions than they did.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you." Alley was getting dizzier. She felt floaty again. She would have rubbed her head, but she knew that showing any sign that she was in pain could be very, very bad. "I wanna talk to Nudge." She added. She could tell Nudge everything, and Nudge could help.

"All right," Artemis said. He led Alley into the _huge, fancy_ kitchen. Nudge was sitting there, staring at the stove like she thought it might start dancing or something.

"Alley!" she jumped out of her chair. "Are you okay?" she hugged Alley tight, and Alley felt a little safer.

"No, I'm scared and dizzy, and everything hurts." Alley whispered in Nudges ear, out loud, she said, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Good," Nudge said, "I called Max and left a message, she should call back."

* * *

Max's pov

Angel and Iggy weren't joking, or crazy, or anything. There really was an elf. I freaking tripped over an elf. And here I was thinking I'd seen everything. An _elf, _jeezums! My life is now the weirdest thing ever.

Her name was Caption Holly Short, and she was. She was shorter than Angel.

"I'm part of the fairy police," she was explaining. "The LEPrecon, and I'm here because-"

Gazzy cut her off. "Because someone's _after your Lucky Charms_?" he asked, his eyes lighting up.

Iggy snickered.

"Um, no," she looked slightly ticked off; someone definitely _**was**_ after her Lucky Charms. "Because one of the Fairy People's most wanted is on the loose with some very dangerous mud- humans."

"What are mud-humans?" Gazzy asked. "They sound dangerous, do you fight them with soapy water? Are they like snow men?"

"Don't be stupid," Iggy said. "Mud-humans are what you get when you don't shower for a while. Like Max."

"Hey!" I turned on Iggy. "You are so dead-"

"Guys, shut up." Fang said quietly, we all did. "Go on, Caption Short."

"No, wait." Angel, who looked terrified, spoke suddenly. "Jeb and Scott? Oh god. Max, we have to find Alley and Nudge and get out of here."

"What? Why? What do Jeb and Scott have to do with anything?" I said, dreading the answer.

At the same time Holly Short was asking. "Do you know them?"

"Yeah," Fang said softly. "Jeb made us."

**[dun-dun-DUN! How exciting!**** how will Holly react to that statement?**** what will happen next? what are Opal, Scott and Jeb planing? Why did Holly tell the flock so much? Will Holly's Lucky Charms ever be safe? review if you want to know. just do it. I dare you to, click the button. I double dog dare you! until next time, this is a girl with far too little time on her hands, signing off]**


	8. fun facts!

Alley's POV

Alley wondered how long she could sit like this and not pass out. She didn't have to do or say anything, thanks to the Nudge channel, so her head was only hurting a little, but her wing and arm hurt almost as badly as they had in the trunk of that car.

Also, Artemis was staring at her. Not in a creepy way, more interested, like she was a pretty fish in a dentist's waiting room, like in that movie, the one with the funny blue fish and the two striped orange ones, Alley had seen nearly half of that movie once in the lobby of a hotel.

Nudge was chatting with the big man, Butler, and the woman, Angeline, about the area, and how pretty it was and how much cleaner and cuter everything seemed here than back in the states and how nice everyone was and how much cooler the accents were and all the other good things about Ireland.

Alley fought the urge to close her eyes and lay her head on the table. _No signs of weakness, none! _She thought in her toughest voice. _I am not sleepy, or hungry, or thirsty, not one little, teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy bit. I am as strong as Max, and I can do anything, even ignore my wing, and my arm. And the bruise on my butt, I can ignore that too. _

"Are you sure you're uninjured?" Artemis asked quietly, not interrupting Nudge's speech about the shopping in Dublin.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Alley swallowed a dozen meaner things she could have said, she'd just about used up her come-backs for the day.

"Nothing hurts at all?" he asked.

_He sounded so whitecoat, eek! _

"No," Alley wanted to slap him. Of course everything hurt, she'd just been shot, and then crash landed in the front hall, how dumb was he? "Nothing."

"And you're not hungry?"

"Not at all." She lied easily.

Then, before Artemis can ask another question about Alley's wellbeing, someone knocked on the back door.

* * *

Max's POV

Things I learned after I tripped over an elf:

1. Elves, fairies, whatever, have jetpack wing thingies which aren't nearly as good as the original.

2. Pixies and Elves are two different things, and pixies are evil.

3. Some rich kid named Artemis Fowl is friendly with 'the People' i.e., the fairies.

4. Holly Short has a HUGE crush on said rich kid, I could tell because her eyes had that dreamy glaze when she said his name, also, Angel nodded when I thought about it.

5. the evil pixie, (just can't get over that, it's like an oxymoron) is now working with Jeb and Scott. By the way, Scott is Alley's very evil, very abusive, chain-smoking stepfather.

So, now that we were all on the same page, we were flying (through the rain) to the rich kid's house, because Holly- sorry, Captain Short- swore up and down that Artemis could help find Alley and Nudge.

_Gah, I must be on __**something**__. I'm following an elf to some rich genus's house so I can find Alley and Nudge. _

_**No, Max, you're completely yourself right now. **_said the Voice. Fantastic, I knew _something_ was missing. _**This is very important, Maximum, vital to your mission. You'll know what to do when the time comes. **_

_Yay! I always know what to do! This will be so easy. _I mentally sneered.

There was no answer. Great, now this was part of saving the world.

In front of me, Holly was going into a slow dive. I followed suit, just, faster. Tears were forced out of my eyes as the ground rushed up at me. I pulled up at the last possible second and landed running. _Me, show off? Never!_

"careful!" she said, landing tame and controlled next to me.

"Sorry, she doesn't know that word," Fang landed the way I had. "None of us do."

This was proved by Gazzy almost knocking me over a split second later.

"I can see that." Holly smirked. "this is Fowl Manor." She nodded to a _huge, fancy_ house. "Let's see if he's home, shall we?" and then she went to the back door and knocked.

* * *

Artemis POV

There was a knock on the door. Angeline answered it.

"Hello, Holly, who are your friends?" she asked as she let Holly and five ragged looking individuals into the kitchen. They were all tall and skinny, with wet, well-worn clothes. The shorter two, a girl and boy, obviously siblings, both with blond hair and blue eyes, were no older than ten years old. The tallest three, two boys and a pretty, brown haired girl, all of whom looked about the same age as Artemis, were casting glances around the room, and then at its occupants.

Alley, who had been sitting across the table from Artemis, suddenly leapt from her chair and ran to the tallest girl. "Max!" she cried.

The girl, Max, wrapped her arms around Alley and lifted her off the floor. "Alley, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Alley said. "My wing hurts, but it's not that bad. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Max asked, putting the little girl down. "Nudge? Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm fine, they only shot Alley, and_ I_ didn't land on my head." Nudge replied.

"I take it you know each other?" asked Artemis.

**[hopefully, the next chapter will come sooner and be longer, sorry, last week was a bad week for me, anyway, PLEASE REVIEW! or I will be sad. And so will Alley, she's really good at being sad. **

**Alley: that much I am. **

**Me: oh, hi, Alley, I thought you were having a sleepover with the little girl who lives down the street. **

**Alley: no, she's kinda dumb, no offense, but she would die if she were like me. **

**Me: you don't know what 'no offense' means, do you?**

**Alley: no, not really. **

**Me: anyway, REVIEW! PLEASE! and, if you liked this, check out my other stuff, including _A Pair Of Little Silver Wings_, which is about Alley, and how she joined the flock.**

**Alley: ooh! I like that story! I like the part where we blow up- you know, I don't want to give it away, you'll just have to read it. **

**Me: yep, Later Fanfic-ers, love you lots, (but only if you review) JESUS LOVES YOU MORE!]  
**


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